Having a bad day happens to us all but what about those days when life just seems to blow up. Grinding halt. Derailment. Plunging into darkness. Everyone, and I mean everyone has had this happen to them. Even those who write positive self-help blogs too. How you handle it will determine how long you’re in the pit. I thought I would share some ideas for finding your way out of that place on your path back to normalcy.
1. So let’s say you’re fired from your job. Immediately you start visualize all the worst case scenarios. I’ll never find another job….I’ll lose my house….My kids will starve, etc. You get the idea. Stop. Take a breath and write down a factual narrative. This means NO EMOTION. As of this moment, you don’t have a job. That’s it. You haven’t lost anything, no catastrophe has befallen you so don’t go there.
2. Write out an action plan. Be reasonable and don’t start making rash statements like “I must sell my house now.” More like “I will create a new resume”, “I will file for unemployment”, “I will starting posting said resume on websites”, etc. Keep your brain from doing that vicious circle thing with your mind (perseverating). Just the facts, no emotion.
3. Give yourself time to feel bad. Okay, so you’ve lost your job. Go to your wonderful planner and decide how long should this make me sad. How many episodes of House of Cards do I need to binge watch before I can get over this? One day, two? Let’s not get into weeks. After your scheduled allotted time, start working on that action plan. Get up, get dressed, and get to work.
4. Distract yourself. When you’re sad or in crisis your mind can do evil things to you. It’s a good idea to keep your mind busy with writing, watching TV (I normally con’t condone this activity), meeting with friends, checking things off your action plan, reading a good self-help book or running. Anything but allowing the perseverating cycle to begin again.
5. This too shall pass. Remind yourself that this is not the worst ting that has ever happened to you and if it really is, it shall pass. Time and action will make it better. I firmly believe that we train every day for crisis mode. You work on the mind and body so that when your life is derailed you have the tools to heal it. You will live to fight another day. It’s time to practice some gratitude here. You may only be able to say, “I’m here today.” And on some days that has to be enough. One of my favorite childhood books was Anne of Green Gables. I remember when Miss Shirley says this to Anne, “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” Yes, it is.
Here’s to a fresh day with no mistakes in it.